Mantra

Lou and I were talking about running a while back. What we do to pass the time while our legs fire away etc. Being as I never listen to music and always run outdoors I have alot of time to daydream and what not. I told him I have a mantra that repeats over and over. Lou was eager to know what it was but I down played it and never really told him what it was. Truth be known, the mantra is a list. About four seperate lists actually. I didn't want to tell him at the time because they make me look incredibly shallow and petty. Listed in no particular order are the lists. Injustices I have endured during my lifetime and the names of people who subjected me to them (this list is long and rambling, you accumulate alot to be mad about in 31 years. espcially if you are shy and overly forgiving). Women I could have had sex with but did not. Women I wanted to have sex with but did not (this is different from the previously mentioned list, some of the listees overlap. I will not name any of the listees lest they read this and say "he never had a shot" or "ewwwwwwwww") Regrets in general. (also an exceedingly long list.)

As I have heard it said "lists tell you as much about the person making the list as the list itself" So that is why I held it back lou. I am fueled by seething. Self needling keeps me moving. Anger and a deep desire to be better than everyone including myself. It sounds horrible here but there it is. Self flagulating is a great motivator though. Warren J Harding (the climber, not the president) has been creditted with some of mountaineerings greatest feats. Some say it is because he had a deep well of anger to pull from. So there you have it