Dec/Jan

December feels like the last 50 feet of a race. January feels like the first mile of swimming across the Pacific.
I'm getting a sinking sensation much like when you are staring down a massive project with no end in sight. January always feels this way to me. Throw in the very real possibility of lay off due to poor sales and '09 looks hugely unappealing.
It gives me the itch. The pack a bag and abandon life urge. Book a flight to Sydney or Rio. Grab your skis and bum Europe for a season or ten.
Sigh, back to work.

Igloo? I do!

The first of the '08-'09 Igloos has been built. To be completely fair this more of a qhuinzee hut, but hey me and a few snow fort nuts aside who will care?
I took a major short cut this time by burying my daughters "cabin the woods" play house. In the summer it is big enough inside to fit she and I sitting on some low stools. And it is stout enough to support my body weight. To keep snow from pouring in while I buried and compacted I put sections of "Hilary for president" signs over the windows. They are coro-plast and do not bond with the snow so the slide out very easily. After it was buried, compacted, and allowed some bonding time I then cut out the door. I think it looks charming. The door really does it for me.

My daughter loves it. My wife will go in it (she is too freaked out to go in my normal huts.) And the rest of my family feels much better knowing there is a frame work to keep my daughter from getting squished in a collapse. (My family has given up on me and plan to just put my headstone where my last fort caves in)
Now it is time to build mine.

Pump Master Pump Faster

So that was my home for 29 hours. Pumping out my basement with an improvised sump pump. Which consisted of 18 feet of 2 inch diameter hose, duct tape, zip ties, and a kayak bilge pump. The first wave was 3 hours of constant pumping to remove 5 inches of water. Followed by round of 2 minutes rest, 2 minutes of pumping for another 6 hours. The night was fun too. Sleep 30 minutes, pump 20, fetch more wood, stoke the fire sleep 30 and repeat.
If there is a santa claus and if I have been good then I wish with all of my heart for a back up generator and a chainsaw.

Old man and the sea

This may be late but it still deserves the "agh! what the Fuck is that !?!" response.
My friend Amy was visiting relatives in Florida when this sailed on by. In her words "it was MASSIVE. It was like being watched by a stern uncle."
Thankfully she got over the shock and grabbed her camera. Later it sailed back in this time showing the port side. I know it looks airbrushed. She swears on a stack of bibles it is real.
Barack and Joe look way less creepy.

Theodore Roosevelt Never Looked So Good

What do I do at work? I think this Silly Putty rendition of Teddy Roosevelt speaks for itself.

Career Day

Of all the people to speak at a career day I would never nominate me. So that is why the invite to speak at (name redacted) academy was so intriguing. I had assumed it was because real professionals were busy, well, working during the day. It could also be that the guidance counselor is a friend of mine and finds it amusing that despite my apparent lack of interest in work I make a comfy life for myself.
Being asked to go to one of these things really is strange. It means you have to look at the way you got to where you are in life and sum it up in a tidy way, then scrub it of any cynicism. On top of that I felt the need to add some motivational zing, you know "study hard" "life is more than high school" blah blah blah. Instead I decided to omit that and just let them know that life gets better.
So I arrive, immediately surrounded by 50 or more students and maybe 11 other "professionals." (that should read employed adults, nothing more) The idea was that we would each be assigned a group of students, 4 or so, with which we would have lunch and discuss our path through life, schooling, what we do for fun and what our job entails. My four were great. They were eager to hear all about me and I was a star!
Me: Foam. Them: "you sell ...foam?" Yup "like packing foam?" Nope "Spray foam?" Nah. Being overtly vague really got their attention. I elaborated but not so much as to bore them. It was great till Norah the bakery owner arrived. Damn you Norah! These are my students, how dare you take their attention from me! Usurper! Actually Norah is very nice. She does yoga with my wife and I love her scones. So I got over having to share my minions (did I mention I was a bad choice for career day?)
Next were the introductions. We all had to stand and introduce ourselves, say how we got here and what our education was like. The two workers from the shipyard were painful to listen to. While one spoke at tremendous length about the benefits of being a civilian employee of the navy the other passed out brochures. I had a pen and proceeded to improve the pamphlet. Adding such useful things as a shark, a sea monster a few row boats, a giant and a great big wacky water slide to the shipyard.
It is very liberating being in a high school and not having anyone to answer to. I could scan the room and see young adults trying their best to be attentive. But sooner or later it broke down. Cute but slightly bookish looking girl teasing the boy next to her by rubbing her foot up his leg. He trying his best not to grow bright red. All the cast is there but new faces. I won't bother naming them, if you went to high school you know who they are. They are still there, they just have newer clothes and different names.
I continued to listen off and on to the other adults. The chiropractor was slim and dressed casual hip. The librarian was OK, certainly not used to speaking in public. Union boss, RN, Environmentalist/entrepreneur, so on so forth. All got a polite applause after speaking. I conned my table into overt standing ovation prior to my speaking making a Steven Colbert styled entrance to the speaking area.
I can't tell you what I said to them, I know I mentioned I went to college to be a ski bum and then found a career to support my toy addiction. On the serious side I did mention that I found selling anything was about being polite, persistent and observant. I doubt I changed any lives. Odd thing was the chiropractor, entrepreneur, and teachers said they really liked my section. Which was good to ear after all these years skiing I need a chiropractor and I could use a new job Mr entrepreneur.
Career day, it is mighty fun. Who would have ever guessed.

RISD

On a recent trip to RISD I began contemplating what the hell is wrong with my hands? In observing the architectural drawings by David Maculay I could see just how he put the sketches together but why can't I do that? Get me a away from a ruler and you would assume I was pro boxer for a few decades. This comes as no surprise to anyone who has seen my handwriting but it is truly aggrivating to me. I want to be awesome too. Where is the disconnect? Somewhere between brain and fingertips I loose it. Wooly mamoths hang-gliding, I salute you Mr Maculay