Rabbits foot rabbits foot

And a horseshoe or two for good measure. Whatever charm I was using last night was most appreciated. I had a Midas touch night where I could do no wrong on the water.
I suppose I should mention that I was paddle surfing. The boats last night were the Purple Sub (a stripped out Dagger Blast and the Riot Boogie. No nick name has emerged for the boogie.
I have often wished for a magical camera crew to film anything I am doing well. Nights like last night certainly would have made the greatest hits reel.

Drowning will result in loss of pool privileges

I have a beef with pool life guards. Honestly how many lives do these people save? It isn't as though we are dealing with the ocean here. Chances are most emergencies would be solved by, oh, standing up? It seems to me all they do is hassle pool goers. "No running, no rough housing and for god's sake stay off the rope!"
Quiet you corpulent knob. I mock you and your whistle.
I believe there should be a testing for all pool goers. Pass a certain level of water proficiency and from there forward life guards are not even permitted to look at you. And they should never be allowed to speak to anyone under any circumstance. Scoop out the barely living, ship them to the hospital and let us all be.
Actually the best idea would be an 18 and over pool, one guard. Watching over people furthers their lack of personal responsibility.