Habit

About a month go I started trying to form a plan for my future. I have been feeling a bit lost, passive perhaps, about the direction of things. And although the planning hasn't gone as smoothly as hoped I have had one good idea; habit quitting.
It came to me as I sat trying to think of how I could improve the future, all the while picking the skin from my cuticles.
Maybe it was a way of avoiding making the harder list but damn if it wasn't easy to find all sorts of terrible habits that need to cease (if you know me and there are any habits or quirks that drive you nuts let me know as I'll add it to the pile.) I won't list them as these are bad habits and with due right I am a little ashamed of them. What was really amazing to me was once I listed them I saw that all of them were hold overs from childhood. So out with the old. I decided to do them in batches of two and to up the difficulty level I decided that I needed to add a good habit.
First up chewing my food thoroughly. I mean masticating the hell out of things; better than the bass-o-matic could have done. The past two night were the first in 10 years that I finished dinner after my dining companion. I think I may be eating as slowly as Jeff Khan.
To aide in habit breaking/forming there is a reward system. Once I have a habit completely destroyed I will randomly select a reward from a list of things that I genuinely want. To be honest I would have taken up these challenges without the rewards. I just like a challenge, but hey if it gives me justification to do a weekend in Miami then why not.

Post script the first two things on the list have been accomplished. But I have reverted to bolting down my food like a wolf going to the electric chair. As if that made sense. Additionally the idea of rewards has fallen by the wayside. Rewards for doing what should have been done anyway seems a bit silly. And I don't have the discretionary income to pat my back. Though I am glad I conquered two habits, million to go.

Jack Benny

I have been exceedingly restless this evening and for some reason the Jack Benny show helps a little. I don't know why. I think because it reminds me of my grandfather. To this day I still pause for a second or two when ever I see the Lawrence Welk show. Back when I was 5 or 6 I can recall sitting over the heating grate trying not to get caught pulling the colors off of Lawrence's face with the set of magnets I pulled out of a speaker. When I finally would get caught my grandfather was more impressed with my discovery than annoyed that I destroyed the tv.
Nostalgia. I always feel kind of strange indulging in nostalgia considering I am a bit conflicted about my younger years. I get upset thinking about the distance in time and place between where I am now and the memory I was looking back at. Thinking of the naivety I had back then disappoints me, but I suppose that is what childhood is for. The people you love most in the world are still with you and you can pull the face of a german immigrant with some hunks of metal you found in the trash.